Feb 09

The Borderland

by Chris Billows in Spirit Speculations 0 comments tags: Human Condition, Poem
Today is my 55th Birthday and with it I have reached a privileged position. I am a contributor and beneficiary of a defined pension that allows me to officially retire! It has been close to 30 years of working and contributing to the public good through my efforts in health care. I am thankful that overall there were few moments that work required me to compromise my values. . . Now that I can officially retire there is a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, but also some trepidation. I am now in the twilight of my career and my working life will soon be over. While I don’t plan to retire right now, I am sure that I will retire in the next 2 to 3 years. There is still some work to do and it can never hurt to pad the savings accounts! My identity will need to change, a rebirth essentially will be required. This is a crossroads moment and I need to begin thinking on who I will become when I do retire. Below is a poem I wrote to commemorate this moment. I also wrote two other poems: Mid-Century Contemplation and Middle of the Muddle which you’re […]
Feb 09

Mid-Century Contemplation

by Chris Billows in Spirit Speculations 0 comments tags: Human Condition, Poem
Today is my 50th Birthday. I now have a half-century of living that brings forth a contemplation of what is this life for. I am definitely on the other side of living. No longer am I building for a future as that future is now. My wife and I have accomplished the material and parental goals we set out for. Our children have launched themselves into their own lives and I am in the early stages of thinking of retirement from my career of almost 25 years. Yet the future does not look bright and how can it? While it is possible we have many healthy years to live, there is nothing more to attain for even if attained, the Lord of Death will take it. It is time to think more about what life means in the context of inevitable death. What I am witnessing is the the birth of death. From the middle of life, only he who is willing to die with life remains living. Since what takes place in the secret hour of life’s midday is the reversal of the parabola, the birth of death … ~Carl Jung; Soul and death, CW 8, §800. The things […]

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Nov 14

Emotions Are Not A Compass

by Chris Billows in Spirit Speculations 0 comments tags: Components of Human Nature, Human Condition
Emotions are powerful experiences. They can have the subtle feeling of a gentle breeze or the violence and power of a hurricane. And its no coincidence that my analogies are references to weather. I see emotions being the equivalent to an internal weather system. They change and can be fleeting. Its for this reason I see emotions having an important role in one’s life, but should never be used to guide you. Emotions cannot guide, they are not a compass. They are more like a temperature gauge. So whatever emotions you experience you need to remember to 1) not take them too seriously since they will change like the weather, and 2) never use them as a compass but instead use your intelligence and wisdom.

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Sep 29

How I Found The Subtle Line In The Assisted Suicide Debate

by Chris Billows in Spirit Speculations 0 comments tags: Facing Death, Human Condition, Stages of Realization
The late Dr. Donald Low made some news headlines when he requested in his last days the right to end his own life in a fashion that is legal. Whenever this issue gets raised, there are always two sides that gets formed to argue their position. And in typical fashion, the media establishment loves to embellish the issue to attract interest so it can sell its advertising. On the one side, we see people who are faced with their own death, arguing that they should have the right to request a doctor to prescribe a lethal dose of medications to suppress their breathing and thus end their life in a manner that is considered to be more peaceful. On the other side, we see people who believe that life is sacred and any action that brings about death more quickly is unethical or immoral. In addition, there is a group of young disabled people who believe that this could lead us down a slippery slope of towards the euthanasia of people with disabilities. After all, if a person does not want to experience the chronic disability that is found in the final stages of one’s terminal illness, it can also […]

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Aug 29

A Letter to Samsara

by Chris Billows in Spirit Speculations 0 comments tags: Fictional Letter, Human Misery, Personal Resolve, Self Analysis, Stages of Realization
Dear Samsara, I am writing to let you know that I have finally figured out how bad you are for me and that its time to break this thing off. You kept telling me that the pain of our relationship would get easier with time, that I would learn to live with the pain and come to accept it. I now don’t think so. I remember as a young child how my parents took care of me, yet you took the credit for all of the good things that happened. And when the bad things happened, you told me to just wait until the next good thing comes along. I believed you that life is full of ups and downs and you just had to hold on. As an older child I remember experiencing terror, tragedy, and self-loathing, and yet you were nowhere to be seen. You were never there to help me. Yet, I survived. And it was this survival that created this distinct self-sculpture. My scars became signs of battles survived and never won. As a young adult, I began exploring the limitless pleasures you offered. You provided entertainment, dining and drink. Yet these experiences always had a […]

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May 28

Being Nice Can Be Unkind

by Chris Billows in Spirit Speculations 0 comments
I attended a workshop about safe and respectful workplaces and one of the messages that was impressed on me by the presenter (a great presenter by the way) is that being nice can sometimes be very unkind to our fellow person. If kindness represents doing the right thing, I have seen lots of people who are nice, but are not kind as they lacked the fortitude to do what was needed to be done. These people avoided conflict when they should have head it straight on. As well, some people use the shroud of niceness to hide their agenda or to avoid being held accountable. For example in my job in the health care field I have seen how being nice leads to taxpayer money being spent in ways that would make any rationale person cringe or have seen a nice, folksy senior manager turned out to be monstrous manipulator. People might have good intentions to do the right thing, but make a citical error thinking that the nice thing is the same. Some people avoid the unpleasantness associated with doing the kind /right thing, and thus take no action. I guess this is why massacres and holocausts are allowed to […]
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